Guest Article by Victoria Fabling –
Personalities can complement each other and sometimes they can clash – we accept this as part of
living, and yet sometimes we can’t quite put our finger on why we would feel so vibrant and ‘ourselves’
in a different country or city. Having explored this topic for a number of years, I offer you my findings …
The northern countries tend to be introverted and, as if they each have a magnet, they have a way of
pulling us into ourselves. If we want to reflect amongst nature, a sabbatical in Canada, which is where
I moved to, could be ideal. If we want to be expressive and creative then Tuscany, Italy, Spain and the
South of France are ideal places, and if we want passion and spontaneity, we need to be spontaneous
and at the very least take a holiday in the southern United States, South America or Mexico. If we feel
a yearning for a deep, soul connection – Africa and Asia, situated in the Earth’s heart, call to our hearts, encouraging us to spend time in a place where masks are removed and souls communicate with each other.
I moved to a city called Kelowna, which was proving a conundrum to me until, over the Christmas break,
I asked myself if anyone I knew lived the lifestyle I craved, and came up with ‘no.’ People around me
seem perfectly content to stay home alone or with family. In summer they also go into the wilderness
alone, whereas I would love to do this with someone, and also do two or three things in an evening to
taste the night-life. I am nocturnal, which is also not the ‘norm’ here.
As I am naturally extraverted, I found I was expecting others to want to do extraverted things with me. I was probably repelling them with my enthusiasm.
I have had the experience of living close to the South of France where people seek out and celebrate
each other’s company. Subliminally, they have been affected by the personality of their surroundings.
I originally came from a very religious village called Ampleforth in the north of England, boasting four
churches, an abbey and a monastery. People described each other according to their religion. I
realized, this Christmas, that my past conditioning and the magnetic energy had drawn me to a
Canadian city which operates in a very similar way – people’s religious habits seem extraordinarily
important, and can open doors in networking situations. I am faced once again with my child-hood
challenge, because I didn’t subscribe to a doctrine then and still insist on being a free-spirit. To me,
that’s healthy 🙂
What has happened in a certain city over and over will affect the ‘feel’ of the place. I visited Jerusalem
one Christmas; there was a pervading sense of destruction. I pondered that it must be really hard for
leaders to make clear-headed, loving decisions for the good of the community with the toxic imprint of
so much bloodshed invading their personal space.
Individual cities within countries have personalities which can suit one person and not another; it is
not just something we imagine. Each place can work for us if we are willing to adapt, and when I
realized that I was an extravert living in a primarily religious, introverted place, I resolved to adopt
the Nike slogan – “Just do it!” I have accepted that I will need to take the initiative here and carry
on being a free-spirit regardless. To re-energize myself I need to make it a priority to explore
extraverted places, and to return to Africa one day – for that is my healing place.
One way we can all nurture ourselves, wherever we live, is to tell our story, our deep story as to what
we’ve learned and what we wish to leave as a living legacy. With focus, I believe we can blossom
wherever we are transplanted.
© Victoria Fabling