Episode #24 – What To Do About Comparing Yourself To Other People

Do you compare yourself to other people?

I don’t think it’s a new topic, but I want to talk about how it’s really not equal
– you, comparing yourself to other people, because we’re all created differently
and that’s the beauty of life is that we’re all different and I just want to let you
know there’s no two people –  even twins, identical twins are not exactly alike.

So because we’re not alike, you can’t compare yourself to other people.  I know
it’s a natural human tendency to compare yourself, and I know i’ve done it before,
but I try to I make it a practice of how I live my life now not to compare myself
and its’ great when you’re older, you get a lot wiser and you know better and
you realize that we’re all different and there’s nobody else like me.

I can’t be like somebody else that I admire.  I can admire the qualities that they
have, but it would be really doing myself a disservice to compare myself to them
because we all come to earth with our own gifts and our own talents.

If you focus on what you have and the gifts that you’ve been given and you try
to make use of those gifts and talents in your life, then you really don’t have time
to compare yourself to other people, and at the end of the day it really doesn’t
make you feel happy anyway!

Usually when you compare yourself to other people, it’s what you see on the
outside, you’re not looking at the whole picture.  You don’t know what their life
is like personally, you don’t know what kind of struggles they have going on
mentally and emotionally.

I would ask you to please look at your own gifts and your own talents and not
to compare yourself to other people.

As I continue to talk about clothing and style and fitting your clothes, what looks
good on you, I also give clothing care tips because it’s really important to care
about your clothes, not only to care about yourself but, you need to care about
your clothes, how to take care of it especially when you spend money on your
clothes – you want it to last as long as possible.

Even though I’m talking about all those other things, you need to make sure that
you just focus on yourself as far as focusing on what gifts you have – how can
you grow them, how can you make your gift become even better so that you
can share it with other people around you in your community, wherever you are,
wherever you go.

I know this because I’ve been working with a lot of women for many, many years
and I see the comparison that they do, even my conversations with them, they talk
about how they wish they “were like this person that they know” and this person
has ‘this’ quality or this person has a ‘perfect figure’.

We all have to embrace who we are, we have to embrace the gifts and just the
uniqueness that we are, I can’t even begin to express how important it is to
embrace your own gifts and uniqueness.

So, if you ever find yourself comparing yourself to other people, other women
-the first thing I would say is “just stop yourself”.

Just ask yourself some really, really great questions.

You can ask yourself questions like:

• Is this serving me?

• Is this making me feel good?
  (I can bet you that the answer will be no!)

Anytime you compare yourself to other people, the answer will always be NO.
I can guarantee you that!

I have never met anyone that has felt good after they’ve compared themselves
to someone else.

So just start by asking yourself powerful questions and when you do find yourself
comparing yourself to someone else, make sure you stop it and catch it.  Be aware
of it all the time because sometimes comparison can be a daily thing.

And then you realize after a while that it’s making you crazy, because we’re always
focused on someone else and we want to be like someone else when we’re not
realizing the uniqueness and the great qualities that WE have.

There’s always an underlying reason why we do that, sometimes we have self-worth
issues and we have self-esteem issues – even though we don’t want anyone to know
about them that we have them, we have them.

I have met a lot of people who didn’t want anyone to know, but it’s really obvious in the
way act and the conversations I have with them – the things that they say.  Eventually
people will admit that they have these self-esteem issues and self-worth issues and
there’s so many people that have them, so if you find that you’re in that position right
now of having those feelings, don’t be embarrassed, don’t get down on yourself.

Just be willing to recognize it and to work on it – that’s the first step is to be willing to
recognize it.  It’s easy to get into denial, denial can be something that’s really not good
for you and it’s always good to face the truth.  Sometimes we don’t like the truth, but
when we face it and we work towards overcoming it or letting go of the thoughts and
feelings that really don’t help us and serve us – we start to feel so much better.

Then you find that you will stop comparing yourself to other people, it is a daily thing,
but it’s worth it, that’s the thing about working on yourself is that the harder things
are always worth it and I invite you to take an inventory of what you are experiencing
in your life, in your thoughts and your emotions.  Are you comparing yourself to other
people?

Sometimes it’s hard to admit it and look at it, but I think it you’re at a place where it’s
just making you crazy then now is a good time to look at, to overcome it.  Of course
it will take steps to get there, but you really have to want to overcome these
comparisons.

Embrace your gifts and your uniqueness.

As I talk more and more about style and fashion, I have to include all these mental
and emotional thoughts and issues that we have before I can even really talk about
dressing so that you look good in your clothes and dressing so that your clothes fit
you properly, you have to work on the underlying things first before you can work
on the outer appearance, you have to work on the inner appearance, that may sound
strange but there is an inner appearance that happens on the inside that we try to
imagine ourselves to be, we can picture ourselves a certain way on the inside.

It’s OK, we all experience things in life.  That just helps us learn and grow.  We have
to have these struggles, so that we can become a better person, we can get to know
our strengths and our weaknesses and it just makes us ‘so much the wiser’ as work
and acknowledge these things.

Send me an email at janin@fashionablefinance.com, I’m here to help you and answer
any questions that you have.  Just remember, don’t compare yourself to other people
because it’s not serving you, embrace your uniqueness and the gifts that you have.

Have a good day, Aloha!

Please share this podcast with a friend or family member who
you think would get some value out of listening to the different
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a huihou malama pono, which means – until next time, take care

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Mahalo for listening.

Aloha, Janin Johnston

Music by: Dennis Pavao
Song: Ipo Lei Manu
Album: Wale No
Produced by: Pilialoha Production
If you would like to order a copy of this CD you
can send an email request to Pilialoha Productions
at: makai@maui.net

Permission was given to use the music from this
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