Aloha, in this episode I talk about shame.
I referenced episode #011 on Fear and episode #012 on Doubt.
Fear, Doubt and Shame are the three main things that women
suffer from.
Shame is a painful emotion that we need to talk about, woman
want to just hide it under the rug, but I don’t want that for you.
We need to figure out how to get rid of these feelings that are
not serving us.
There’s no room in our life for fear, doubt and shame.
Growing up, have you ever had an adult say to you “shame on you”? If you
did, said or behaved in a certain way?
We don’t think about how it’s going to affect our kids when we say those
things to them.
Everything that goes on in our lives shapes who we are and who we become
and the feelings we have. We take things on.
We need to work on letting go:
First – acknowledge that you have shame within yourself.
Shame will look different for everyone – some people have shame about how
they look, shame of being in public, or speaking up, there are so many because
we are all so different.
You can quiet down those feelings and let it go by understanding how it affects
you in your daily life, being ashamed about so many things prevents you from
achieving the things that you want or prevents you from moving forward on things.
The only way to accomplish things is to get out of our comfort zone and do the
things that are scary and do the things that you feel are shameful even though they
may not be.
I will always tell you to write things down on paper, writing with a physical instrument
will make a big difference. Write everything down that you can remember about the
shame that you’re feeling, when it started, why you think you have this kind of shame
even though it might be scary, but in the end you’ll be glad you did.
Get it out of your head so that you can work on letting it go.
This will help you move forward in the right direction. Holding on to the shame that
you have inside of you is not helping you at all.
Denial is also a really big enemy.
We have to have the good and the bad in our life, there’s no way that everything can
always be good. We have to have the bad so that we can appreciate the good –
opposition helps us to grow and overcome those things, that’s how God intended life
to be.
Don’t be hard on yourself and get yourself down, it is possible to overcome all of these
things. It may take a little time because you’ve probably had these feelings for a really
long time. It’s amazing how long someone can hold on to feelings of fear, doubt and
shame.
Change is really hard and can be scary, but the more you experience change – you
start to realize that “hey it’s not so bad after all”.
Letting go could mean the unknown, what’s on the other end. If we let go of something,
you’ll feel much better and feel different.
Letting go will feel much better than holding on to the shame and other feelings that
are negative that aren’t helping you.
Sometimes it’s better to get some help with understanding and figuring out these
things, so if you would like my help you can email me at
janin@fashionablefinance.com
we can see if there’s any way that we can work together. I’m here to support and
guide you in a way that would be best for you.
If you know anyone who is suffering from shame, then have them listen to this
podcast and share with them what you’re learning, it’s always good to help other
people.
Women love to talk with other women and discuss the problems of their day, so
how about you talk with each other about this subject of SHAME.
It always feels good when you help somebody that you care about, so I encourage
you to share this podcast with the people that you know.
Shame affects our lives by making us feel like were not good enough, shame has
so many different faces. If you don’t feel like you’re good enough to do very many
things, then you just go through life living the same-old, same-old not wanting to
stretch yourself or to make improvements or to work towards a dream or goal that
you have.
You are worth your dreams and it’s worth going towards your goals, we all have
dreams and goals.
We let life get in the way because we aren’t paying attention to those things that
are really important and shame seems to get in our way.
It pops up and gets in our face and makes you feel like you can’t do it or you’re
not worth it.
If you’re feeling uncomfortable, it’s OK, the feeling should pass, it won’t stay with
you forever. Feel those feelings because if you try to ignore it that’s when shame
pops up in your face, and you’re not going to know what it is or how to deal with it.
It’s so important to know how to recognize it.
You’re worth it, you’re worth the time it takes to get out of the denial and face your
shame and admit that you have it so you can overcome it.
Good and bad words have power whether we realize it or not, everything you hear
and say affects you emotionally, mentally, spiritually. So if you ever hear someone
that you know say “shame on you” please encourage them to not say that.
If you can learn to speak up and start to recognize these things and be vocal about
it will be so much more powerful in helping move you forward in overcoming this
shame.
Fear, doubt and shame holds you and keeps you down and makes you crazy
because you just don’t understand why it’s there or why doesn’t it just go away.
I welcome any comments or questions if you have any.
Would you like me to share a new Hawaiian word on each episode of this podcast.
The Hawaiian language is so beautiful and fascinating, that’s why I use the word
“Aloha” a lot because it more then one meaning. It means: love, hello, goodbye, I
care. And so much more.
A hui hou malama pono (take care, until we meet again)
I hope you are enjoying listening to this podcast!
Please share this podcast with anyone that you know of
who will benefit from the things that are in each episode.
Subscribe to this podcast in iTunes or Stitcher Radio,
so that you’ll never miss an episode.
Connect with me: janin@fashionablefinance.com
Mahalo for listening.
Aloha, Janin Johnston
Music by: Dennis Pavao
Song: Ipo Lei Manu
Album: Wale No
Produced by: Pilialoha Production
If you would like to order a copy of this CD you
can send an email request to Pilialoha Productions
at: makai@maui.net
Permission was given to use the music from this
artist.